Mirror Mirror on the wall you don't define me, NO not at all

Ladies, we have all sat through those self-worth seminars or girls weekend retreats...that are all centred around the subject of 

"self-worth"

& how we need to learn to accept the way God created us, because he created us in the image of him. 

 These seminars, may have given you a bit of a self confidence boost for a couple days, maybe a week. 

But lets be honest here. 

When life gets back to normal 

& we get off that "Self-worth-high"

We instantly get jolted back into the pit of worthlessness. 

This pit is a deep, dark, scary, 

place we often are embarrassed 

to say that we are stuck in 

& need help to get out. 

Worthless- having no value. 

having no use, importance, effect, 

or good qualities. 

Do you really think that God created you without value, without importance, without good qualities?!

I THINK NOT!! 

God created you with a divine plan in mind. He placed unique giftings & desires in your heart that no one else will ever think, or dream of. 

He knows the number of hairs on your head.

Obviously, he loves you! 

Moving on to another one of my favourite topics while also keeping self-worth in mind is. 

 How people treat you can also affect how you see your self & how you value your life. Your self-worth can feel as if it's being altered by one rude glance, one rude comment. 

I personally have been so blessed to be home-schooled

my whole School career so far. 

Because if I didn't I'm sure, 

I would have been so "overtaken"

by the pressures of How I look, 

how I dress, what I believe in,

what numbers are on the scales, etc. 

Everything about life is pressure

to please "man" with our outward appearance.

The pressure all of you high school

teen-girls go through every day is actually insane. 

I have only ever had one really mean

girl tell me very harsh things. 

This was the one comment that

penetrated right through my heart. 

She said: 

"You are Fat & ugly.

You have no place in this world

& you never will." 

Yes, for awhile I believed this. 

Most definitely this was an attack

planned by the enemy to attempt

to crush my Self-worth at a young age.

(John 10:10) 

Every time I would look in the mirror,

or step onto the scale, 

all I could ever see was the negative. 

It was like a black foggy blur

covering my eyes not being

able to see the "real" me, properly. 

 

Okay, so now I'm really hurt. 

My heart hurts from the harsh words

& I keep hearing them on repeat. 

It's like I could never delete that

recording in my mind. 

Just like a battle wound takes a

long time to heal, so did my heart. 

It actually started to make me mad. 

I was so tired of being bullied by this girl.

I was also so tired of my heart being hurt,

cause after awhile of being told

the same things over like

"You are so fat & ugly", 

I began to really believe it. 

 I was now stuck in that dark pit of worthlessness,

just getting deeper & deeper & deeper.

Feeling worse every inch I would get shoved down, 

until I hit my rock bottom. 

I was so done with this. 

Once I hit my rock bottom, 

I felt completely Worthless. 

I felt as if God had just forgotten about me,

that I had no plan for my life,

that I was not beautifully & wonderfully made. 

Until one night at my Youth group we had a guest speaker from a town one over from ours. 

This man & his amazing wife radically changed my life.

As they called an alter call at the

end of the night it was for people... 

"Who felt, like they don't have a plan for their life." 

As I walked up to the front of the church that night,

I felt so ashamed. 

That I had to ask for help to get out 

Of this pit I was stuck so deep in. 

"I should be able to do this myself,"

I thought. I mean like come on, 

I grew up in the church,

good-solid Christian parents & homeschooled. 

I mean like come on how

much more "sheltered" can you be. Haha! 

Now I'm at the front of the church,

waiting for prayer, feeling more

ashamed as each second ticks by. 

Then the Pastor & his wife came to me.

I then just began to weep like 

I have never wept before.

 

I simply broke down right in front of them.

I didn't even have to say anything

& they both just began to speak words of Life over me. 

This Pastor then took my hands &

looked straight into my eyes & said:

"Kerrington, You are so very beautiful & God's got such an amazing plan for your life 

& I so look forward to seeing

what God has in store for you." 

He began to break the lies of the enemy

that were spoken over my life.

The things that I didn't want to let go of

& had been filling up my

very-heavy "spiritual" back pack

began to break off. 

He said these words, I will never forget.

"Satan, we know you are out there & you are very real. 

We see that you have played with Kerrington's mind & we command you to go in Jesus name! 

You have NO authority over this child of God, she is so precious & will perform many miracles one day with Jesus by her side." 

Now every time I feel myself slipping

back into that pit of worthlessness, 

 I look into the mirror or step on the scale

& say thank you God for making

me beautiful in your sight! 

It's not about the freckles on your cheeks,

the numbers on the scale, the size jeans you wear. 

It's about how you see yourself 

& how God sees you! :) 

If you remember anything from this post remember this: 

"Mirror Mirror on the wall,

you don't define me, 

NO not at all." 

Until next time, 

~Kerrington