“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
(Romans 12:2)
I drove past this house countless times but for some reason that day, memories from a long time ago rushed in my consciousness; like something caged finally, set free. I recalled that day clearly and heard all over again the hurtful things said and done. I realized in that quick drive past that home that I hadaccepted those painful offenses and tucked them away into recesses of my being.
I believed and so I became….
I remember going to this house, tagging along with my bff (well, that’s not what we called each other way back then; that term wasn’t yet invented!) and visiting some others. I really wasn’twanted there. The others really just invited my friend to visit, but since we went most places together I went along. I wished I hadn’t. This mixed company told me how they felt. I don’t remember the words exactly but I do remember feeling andbelieving I was ugly…, fat…. and not wanted. It was a long andhorrible visit.
I recall similar situations throughout my growing up years…feeling unwanted and somehow unworthy to most. Whether it was my childhood and living through the tragedy of a parent gripped in alcoholism or being raised in a single parent home; whether it was just what kids/people say/do to one another; orwhether it was my own perceptions observed by my tainted vision. I allowed harmful thoughts to build one on top of the other, setting a firm foundation in self-defeat.
It is no surprise that what followed my growing up years was laced with self-inflicted turmoil and sin, only meant to further take me away from who I was truly created to become.
“We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.”
(2 Corinthians 12:5)
If I could go back; do a ‘do over’, this scripture would be impressed upon my heart as it is today and I would take every thought captive; every single one,
is this what my heavenly Father thinks of me? Is this the truth? Is this who I was created to be?
You see my biggest problem wasn’t the situations or circumstances or happenings in my growing up years, the biggest problem was that I did not truly know who I was and am in Christ!!
Your self-worth; beautiful ones cannot be found in a new pair of jeans, a hair style, the friends you keep or the boyfriend you have, what others say about you or what they do to you. You are already beautiful, you see,—protect all that God has created you to be! Do not accept the harmful lies, instead turn them over to your loving and heavenly Father and He will help you and take care of you. You are unique; hand crafted and set-apart for His glorious and divine purposes!
I have just turned 45 years old and I was so taken aback by my memories. It was like the Lord opened that door and let all those lies and memories fly away; not to be kept anymore. I am so thankful for His love for me; He has redeemed me and my value and my worth are solely in Him! The Lord didn’t leave me there in the pit of destruction and today I am certain of who I am in Christ!!
Bless you beautiful ones!
About Cindy:
Cindy, a daughter of the great I Am, lives with her passionate husband and beautiful, twin daughters in a small town. Recently Cindy has found herself officially a stay at home, homeschooling Mom. When not planning for schooling or doing housework, she and her family can be found on their front porch swing, conversing the afternoon away. Besides family time, Cindy loves to read and has the honour to write for a blog called, “We are His daughters.” She is dedicated to the youth ministry at her home church and is so thankful for the opportunity to share her heart with Kerrington’s readers.
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