"The Journey"
Written by: Pamela Porter
When I was asked to write this blog
I was so honoured, a little nervous and scared to reflect on what it has meant to me to be a mom.
The Lord has definitely blessed me with three beautiful, talented, loving, caring children with their own personality, desires, roads ahead of them and beliefs on life. I am so grateful that the Lord loved me and trusted me enough to have this wonderful journey, a bumpy one at times but a Joyous one as well.
So my journey began 20 years ago when I found out that the Lord was going to bless Bill and myself with twins. At first I was terrified, “what was the Lord thinking, I cannot handle two babies at once, I am not that patient”, then I was amazed that the Lord thought that much of me to entrust me with two precious gifts, treasures that were to be raised to love and honor him. And then I was scared “could I really do this”. Then with the “practice round” accomplished and my two beautiful, talented, loving girls starting kindergarten I felt it was time to add to my family and see what other adventures the Lord could give me. 5 years after my girls were born the Lord blessed us with a son, a whole new journey was about to begin. Equally loving, talented and handsome but a different dimension in understanding had begun.
So as my journey started I soon realized that my roles would change OFTEN. Being the mother of an infant is not at all the same as being the mother of a toddler. During this stage you are in awe of this little bundle of joy that has been entrusted to you. I was scared to make mistakes, I questioned God “are you sure I can do this” “Lord I don’t want to mess this up”. Then you become the mom of the school age and boy do the challenges start. I wanted to make sure that my children were not influenced by the world in ways I didn’t agree with but not wanting to isolate them as “strange, weird, “Jesus freak” children”. There were times I messed up (big) but I soon learned that the Lord was teaching me to learn to be humble and ask for forgiveness (something I had a very hard time doing), seek grace and most of all trust him with my children, enlarge my faith base.
Becoming a mother encompasses many facets of my life. It changed the way I thought about myself, my family, friends, and the world around me, even my Christian walk. The way I looked at life, the way I reflected, and the way I act and react to situations (even though sometimes I felt that I fell short). I find myself giving second thought to things I never would have before and to really start to question the things I truly felt were right and wrong. As a Christian mom I found that I really started to question gray areas that would affect my children as they grew, even though they ultimately grow to be able to make their own choices, I still always wonder how things I didn’t take a firm stand on would affect them.
Motherhood is a beautiful ride, a wild ride, and the most incredible journey you will ever take, it begins the day you hear the words “you are pregnant” and ends…….well it never really ends just restructures itself to a second level of grand parenting (which I am not at yet but will love when that time does come). It can be translated into: “Professional-juggler-in-a-traveling-three-ring-circus-with-a-trapeze-side-show-for-a-kicker.” As Mothers, we take multi-tasking to a new and exciting dimension.
Just when you think you have the role down, it changes suddenly, sometimes with no warning. What has this meant for me? It has meant that I have had to really search for grace, patience, love, understanding and to learn how to seek forgiveness when I have fallen short. As a mother you are constantly growing and changing, challenging yourself to new ways of thinking and being. My children were constantly shaping me, adjusting me, testing me, just as I shaped, adjusted, and tested them. Sometimes it feels as if there is no time to breathe. And then, suddenly, there is time to breathe, just for a second. You breathe. You take it all in. You admire everyone’s present state of life. And then you dive down again, into the rush of life, change, challenge.
I will definitely have to say that through it all, I have watched with great joy at the littlest of accomplishments, cried when they have been hurt, wanted to protect them beyond measure when they were mistreated by friends, left out of group play dates or get together, I have beamed with pride listening to them sing (a God given talent), play an instrument, graduate with honors, be nominated valedictorian. I have cried silently when their hearts got broken for the first time, when they learned that choices had consequences that lasted for a while.
But I am amazed at how through it all God with his infinite wisdom, let me make mistakes only to strengthen me, help me grow and show my children that forgiveness is easy to give when you have the love of God.
I love all my kids unconditionally. AND my motto these days is “don’t sweat the small stuff.”
About: Pamela
Pamela Porter is a mother of three teenage children. She worked for 9 years as an ECE then the Lord put her on a new path. She is finishing the Practical nursing program at St. Clair College, a path that the Lord put her on after her children were grown and self- sufficient. She came to have a relationship with the Lord in her early 20’s after meeting her husband. She has been married to her husband Bill for 21 years and their journey has been one to remember. She would never trade this journey for anything, it has been one that has strengthened her, established a humility in her and a heart of compassion for those that need service.
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