The Paton Family!

There's so many ways to describe families. Fun, loving, crazy, hardworking, God fearing, athletic, brilliant, talented and the list goes on. How would I describe ours? 

Oh boy, there's so many words that could be used. Way to many stories, moments and qualities to just limit it to one word....so I'll say we're perfectly imperfect!

I love my family. I love everything about them.  My husband is my best friend, my bestie, my BFF whatever you want to call it, that's him! Not sure if that's awesome or pathetic, or just awesomely pathetic, but I know I love him and am so thankful for him!  Our marriage is refreshing, and the best part about it, is it wasn't always this way. In the early years, if it was a gift, I wanted a full refund! 

It was nothing but a constant battle and eventually something had to give, something had to change. And after a few years it did. It started to change when we started to serve one another selflessly. When we did that, it unleashed the heart of the father at the very core of our relationship.

We have been blessed with five beautiful, healthy children and for that we are so grateful.  

I love that our children are all at different ages and going through different stages of life. Each one of our children are highly animated!  I love that at dinner each night our table erupts with excitement and stories that have us all laughing, crying and laughing until we're crying.

I repeatedly hear from people, "You have the perfect family!' 

Each time I hear that,  part of me agrees because I think they're unmatchable and perfect! But another part of me cringes. Years ago there was a season in my life when I felt inferior in comparison to another family, because I thought they were perfect. I started to compare our family with theirs and the comparison didn't empower me as a mom, it discouraged and crippled me.

 It wasn't until I was in the presence of this family on a more regular basis that I realized they too have real life issues, and struggles. Their children weren't perfect! They too needed to be guided, nurtured and disciplined.

What is a perfect family? One with no flaws, faults or outbursts? If so, that's not the perception I want people to have of our family.  We like other families have children who speak with more truth at times than one ever should. A perfect mom? Oh man, I sent my child commando to VBS this year without knowing it! 

I have four children to get out the door by 8am in order to catch the bus, can you even imagine the veins that buldge from my head in the morning as I realize the bus is around the corner the same member of our family (who shall remain namesless) has no boots on for the 64th day in a row?! We are definitely not perfect!

Moms I have two tidbits for you, the first one is : Don't compare, glean! Comparing will leave you feeling frustrated and like a failure. Gleaning will leave you feeling empowered and encouraged. Glean from those who have gone before you. Ask, enquire and learn from their mistakes and victories. 

Whether you have one child or fifteen, embrace them. Numbers don't make a great family, the unity and bond you have does! Invest, love and nurture the ones the Lord's entrusted you with. Make memories and be present. Learn, grow and become victorious together.

My second word to mama's is to use life lessons as teaching moments. Those stressful and exciting times you have during the daily grind, teach from them. 

What does that mean, what does that look like? Put handles on your words. Walk things out with them in a way that will cause them to always remember what you've imparted into them.

Here's a very recent precious teaching moment I did with our oldest son. Seeing as it's Valentine's Days in a few days, I had gone and picked up a couple dozen roses and other wild flowers and had arranged several small bouquets. 

When my son got home from school, he walked into a kitchen full of paper, twine, flower clippings and arrangements. 

He instantly asked what in the world I was doing. I said 'Hey, buddy, I've got something fun for us to do tonight! But first I need you to make a list of a few women that have made an impact on you!' Instantly he looked at me with his ever so unexcited eyes and said 'Oh no, Mom, what is this for?" haha. I was overly excited and said, 'Seeing as you don't have a valentine, I thought it would be fun for you to deliver flowers to these women'. 

He said 'No! No way! I don't want to do that!' To which I responded, "I know, and sometimes when we get married there's things we don't necessarily want to do, but we do it because we know it will bless our spouse.'' 

After he stared at me in a tone that only teen boys can stare at you in, he reluctantly agreed. Then said "Mom, this is going to be so awkward!" I said, "Yes, but it's going to be very awkward one day when you have to ask your girlfriends father for her hand in marriage.' 

Now he understood what I was saying. We were training him to be a gentleman and preparing him for the road ahead. After he loaded the flowers in the truck, we were on our way.  We went around to different homes that night blessing Grandmothers, and those who have invested into him. 

Did he say much? No, he said he told everyone I was training him to be a gentleman. ha!  This was a real life, awkward, fun, and funny teachable moment. Was it perfect? No! Was it funny? 

Oh you better believe it! Did it impart something into him? Yes. He saw the smiles, and the difference one bouquet of flowers and one small gesture can make in someones life.

 I was able to share that being a gentleman goes far beyond good intentions.

We have been given the awesome responsibility to love our spouses and to train our children. So instead of comparing with one another, lets vow to glean from one another. 

Let's ban together and strive for perfection, knowing that none of us have yet reached it. That we are all doing our best to be faithful in what He's called us to. Let's unite in purpose, heart and vision. 

Let's vow to do our part in building strong families, families that last! And let's link arms and encourage one another to raise Godly men and women who fear The Lord above fearing man.

 Let's agree together to be perfectly imperfect....

~H